Volcanoes on my skin

Have you been the target of distasteful comments and offensive jokes from people comparing your face to a pizza for instance ? Are you waging a war against pimples, pustules, cysts, black dots on your face, neck, and even back ? Do you let a verdict from your reflection on the mirror dictate your worth or even your dating potential ? 

This predicament has been my reality most of my adolescence and all through my mid-twenties, I'm afraid. If this is also your struggle, do not despair. I got sick of people telling me it was because of my diet (eating chocolate DOES NOT cause acne). I have been through the trial of antibiotics to no avail, and the next recommended step was the dreaded medication that is in fact vitamin A in toxic doses, which I ended up refusing, too scared of the side effects, and despite being deeply afraid that my face would be scarred for life if this skin problem kept worsening.

But eventually, after several years of dreading school pictures or other events where I would have to resort to some skin toner or camouflaging strategy in the form of skin color make-up, this cutaneous ordeal calmed down. And my face doesn't show signs of that dark period of my youth. Looking back, I understand it was probably a manifestation of the chronic inflammation in my body (hence the volcano analogy), due to toxic stress or complex trauma. I can feel at peace with that chapter of my life and I want everyone struggling with this to know they are not alone...

Plus, real beauty shines through from the inside out. It has very little to do with perfect skin or features. Some thoughtful kids (including students at my high school and a young cousin who was then preschool age) could see this and express it to me as they tried to comfort me. They didn't care about those pink bumps on my chin. They saw the whole of me. And there is certainly beauty in that !

Confidence modulates posture, expression, social behavior or engagement, all of which enhance attractiveness. Invest in other aspects of your appearance that you can actually control: your outfit, hairstyle, demeanor, smile.

Revisit my blog on the worth of a smile as needed...

Apparently, physical beauty experts claim that what matters more than perfection are warmth, friendliness, and expressive features. Those attributes create a positive emotional valence, which makes those who are on that group consistently rated as more attractive.

And I agree with all of that. Beauty isn't just aesthetic. Beauty is only one aspect of attractiveness. Tap into your joyfulness as much as you can, exude confidence, express warmth and cultivate approachability. Injecting some self-deprecating humor can sometimes help. A positive and gracious attitude is always something we have control over and should strive to embody.

What makes a person truly beautiful is their light. Never feel shy to shine yours, and people will see this aura beyond some little skin irregularities that are transient and certainly not defining you. Perfection doesn't exist. A flower with asymmetrical petals doesn't feel inferior. And we still appreciate flowers or trees that are crooked.

Imperfection is unique. And imperfection is beautiful because it is real and always evolving. So are we all, at various stages of our life.