Let your dreams find you

My dream or project notebook, offered by my friend
Annie for my birthday almost a decade ago.

Where is your mind wandering right this second? What is your heart whispering? Maybe it is hard to pay attention because there are too many conflictual demands or expectations coming from all directions: your parents, your coach, your teachers, your friends... It must be dizzying. Maybe you have yearnings (like wanting a brand of clothing, or a sports equipment, or go to a concert) but you are starting to wonder if they are your own. Are they coming from outside influence like brainwashing from advertisement or peer pressure? Or is it coming from inside, from your essence? I might not fully grasp all the details cluttering your life at this moment, but I can tell you how I felt at times during this fog that was most of my adolescence. And when I write fog, I mean it both literally and metaphorically. I grew up as a teen in the 1980s and many relatives, especially on my dad side of the family, and his girlfriend's, were smokers. So, when I was your age, I was most likely sitting in a living room or kitchen full of those adults, being exposed to this awful second-hand smoke that make me pledge to myself I would NEVER be a smoker. I felt like I was just part of the décor, really, and the fact that I was inconvenienced by the adults' poor health and self-centered decisions didn't seem to matter to anyone.

In sum, with the exception of a few teachers who were instrumental in building my self-confidence, my wild dreams were often not part of the equation. As depressing as it seems to have had that kind of adolescence, I can tell you it had the advantage of helping me become a keen observer of the world. Before finding out what I wanted to do with my life, I first was able to determine what I didn't want. Sometimes, and thankfully this was not too much the case in my own family, parents impose their own fulfilling dreams on their children (often with disastrous consequences: self-hatred, resentment, and a huge waste of resources). I was quick to eliminate a few of those dreams that were passed on to me. But other ones, more subtle and coming from scripts of society trying to make us be or think a certain way, took a longer time to be rejected and labeled as dissonant to my own nature.

I always had many dreams and fantasies, and many were frustrated early on; when you are a teenager, there are some obvious limitations because you cannot decide or do whatever you wish, whenever you want it (I never got to go to Europe until I was an adult and I was not allowed to go on a one-year exchange in a foreign country in high school like I would have liked). But even through missed opportunities, not all is lost: during adolescence, we get to prepare the ground for those dreams to unfold later. For instance, if money is the main limiting factor, you can find a part-time job. You can plan and prepare by developing skills as you meet experienced people and learn from them until you have the freedom to make a decision.

You might find that some people are not as enthusiastic as you are about your dreams. Even worse, some will try to burst your bubble. One of the biggest shocks in my life was to realize that some people cannot stand other people's joy or happiness. Instead of trying to connect with their own dreams, they prefer to waste time and energy being kill-joys, denigrating, contemptuous or other roadblocks. It's like they have this weird belief that dreams are a scarce resource, and they can't let anyone have them. Just like some people fought for N95 masks or started hoarding toilet paper at the beginning of the pandemic. But hey, dreams are not like N95 masks or toilet paper. Real dreams do not rise from greed or envy. They are unlimited, abundant and make the world better, because helping someone accomplish something positive that gives them true joy and fulfillment is ultimately good for humanity as a whole. But since not everyone has understood that yet, sometimes, it might mean you have to keep your dreams secret (or share them only with a supportive someone you fully trust) until you are confident enough that you feel like nobody will have the power to erode your motivation. To cultivate dreams takes courage, because dreamers can be threatening to the established order or be rejected by people they thought were their friends and who turned out to be consumed by envy. A dream invites evolution, and this means that some rigid and oppressive structures in society might have to change as a result. 

It is part of our nature to dream. As human beings, we are meant to grow, expand and raise consciousness. So, I encourage you to continue to pay attention to signs from life that can be pointers in the direction of your dreams. Even when we ignore those signs, we are called to experience situations, often painful ones, that make us more awake, or our dreams simply become ''louder''. If you are still unsure what your dreams are about, try to remember the time when you were a child, because when we are younger, we are usually more connected to our authenticity, before conditioning and external expectations start shifting our thinking and behaviors. Even as a teenager, it was clear to me that I wanted to be a mother and guide children to become who they are meant to be. I became a mother and I have the honor to see my three teenage sons be at the stage of being acquainted with their dreams. I have always wanted to learn foreign languages. I am now bilingual in French and English and I am working at expanding a third language, Spanish (by listening to radio in Spanish, reading in Spanish etc). I went to medical school. My family supported me during this long path full of sacrifices even though no one really had any road map for this, as there are no doctors in my family. I always encouraged my sons to explore and develop their own abilities, and as they do, they inspire me to continue developing my own. They love outdoors and I love the snow, so I taught them how to ski. I love crafts and always imagined being an artist. I taught them how to sew to expand their possibilities. Who knows, these skills might help them during the realization of their dreams, and their own version of self-development.

I used to chase my dreams but as I learned to meditate, slow down and let go of control, I realized that dream realization usually comes from the other way around: if you let go of the specific outcome or result, if you stay receptive, they will find you. Ask yourself: what is the emotion you want to experience as you fulfill your dreams? If it is joy from connection, then it won't really matter if you are connecting as a coach, a teacher, a nurse, a retailer, a landscaper, or a doctor. This is only the world of form. I have some new versions of dreams. For instance, I once saw myself as being in charge of an orphanage and taking care of babies and children all day. But now I have a similar project that has been emerging and that I have been developing in my Frida notebook this past week. My friend Julie, as she marveled at my blooming creativity, said I was like a conduit, and it is so because I am receptive these days. I believe so to. Once it is well underway, don't worry, I will share my dream with you too :)

You are in a privileged stage of your life to cultivate dreams. Last summer when she visited, my niece Laurence showed me that she still uses a bookmark I had made for her and that said ''continue to believe in your dreams.'' This is a message for you as well! No one can live your dreams but you. They are like the imprint of your soul. A dream is the messenger of this collective power that wants for everyone to embody their most elevated mission. It is a lighthouse guiding you and helping you stay motivated. It is the point of convergence of your talents and soul gifts to help our consciousness evolve. Even though all our dreams won't come true (I never became an astronaut, and didn't buy a house in Provence, at least not yet...), those dreams that remain desires or fantasies will have at least helped us live and go through adversity by keeping us company, keeping our motivation alive, and serving as our bedtime stories to help us fall asleep peacefully during these lonely nights.

Take a deep breath, walk confidently, spread your wings, pay attention to what lights you up and the deep whispers of your soul. Find your allies and ignore the joy-saboteurs. And your dreams, small and big, will find you.