The magnets for boredom (and other unpleasant feelings)

My adolescence was fraught with escapisms: there were some healthy ones, like skiing even at -20 C, drawing, reading, swimming. But there were some potentially damaging ones because instead of making me more in the moment like the healthy ones, they were in fact meant to numb my painful feelings:  rides at amusement parks, emotional eating, watching videoclips or movies, and yes, like many, spending too much time playing video games (we didn't have social media when I was a teenager).

They are not only magnets for boredom but for insecurity, nervousness, sadness, or feeling empty. These time sinks attract all forms of suffering if we don't watch out. I look back at my younger self and have a lot of compassion for her, as she was trying to cope with her parents' divorce, their relative emotional unavailability, and all the difficult experiences associated with the various changes in my daily life. If you are in a similar situation, like being glued to your phone or computer screen for too long, and this is certainly the case for many teenagers, including some very dear to me, I have compassion for you as well, and I am not judging you. 

Frogger, Pacman, Mario Bros, Dig Dug... although brainless activities, the latter helped me conjugate the verb dig and consolidate the verb table of past and present perfect tenses LOL (English is a second language). 

Video games nowadays have such an impressive resolution and level of details that it is probably easier to feel swallowed in this alternate reality. I attended a continuous medical education talk (''grand rounds'') at my work recently and the speaker, who presented on ADHD, said that kids with ADHD have to be extra careful with video games because they tend to have a harder time limiting the use. I believe it is because kids with ADHD, in addition to having a hard time postponing reward or managing certain emotions and impulses, also often have difficulty tolerating boredom or prioritize, so screens, with all their busy activity, are convenient counter-distractors and boredom-solvents, and they tend to be magnets to bored or overwhelmed minds...

If I was able to stop numbing myself with screen time, I bet anyone else can. I came to find other activities (like socializing, taking dance classes, going to camp, drawing, etc) way more interesting and rewarding. And I also learned the importance of discernment and balance: video games are not bad per se, but only if they replace the most important stuff in life (like learning, creativity, relationships, spiritual growth) or interfere with daily functioning, mood, socialization, general health or academic performance.

Now, with my perspective as a somewhat cynical adult, I see that those who created the games I discovered in my youth probably had a twisted sense of humor as they may be intended them to prepare us for the cruelty of adulthood: Pacman could symbolize avidity and gluttony as it swallows countless white dots while chased by molar-like ghosts, and greed is expressed as a desire to accumulate possessions, status, power etc; Frogger confronts us with the mercilessness of corporate world and certain and frighteningly prevalent intimate partnerships where there is coercive control and one person tries to literally crush the other person's spirit and soul, and Dig Dug reminds us that we cannot survive all of this crap without finding meaning, looking inside of us, going deeper: exploring oneself, connecting on a deeper level to people, experiences and the whole of life.

And that includes a more profound connection with nature.

At my age, I can get excited about a giant, natural Pacman in a mid-morning sky for the rare event that a solar eclipse is. The observatory is one of my favorite places in my area. I have been taking my sons there since they were little, while they were still wearing cute pajamas because the viewings are generally right before their bedtime. I can never get enough of looking at planets and constellations through giant telescopes. It makes me feel connected to the whole of humankind while I see my tangible world problems suddenly shrink... To be able to reframe a situation and puts things into perspective is definitely a desirable addiction to have. May you find, in the stars and the whole universe around you, magnets for your boredom, loneliness or existential questioning.