Fifteen


Dear son,

Halfway through the puberty, this can be a pivotal stage. It has been for me. I was in the middle of high school. My academic future became more precise. I attended a talk given by a missionary physician and I thought it was my calling. My interest in closeness with boys became distracting but I continued to prioritize school work. I started becoming more fashion-conscious. I tended to copy my friend who got nice clothes, she must have found this a bit annoying but never mentioned it. I had no sense of style yet so I was exploring by relying on what I perceived as her good taste. We were really good friends, she lived on my street and we walked to the bus stop together. Her parents took me and my friend, an only child, to Wildwood, New Jersey, on a road trip that summer. I realize now I didn't have a passport, it was not required, I guess they used another ID, I cannot remember. Times have changed. 

I remember vividly going to New York on the way there and we visited a tall building, I think it was the Chrysler. I got along well with her parents, I remember we laughed a lot. We enjoyed the boardwalk and connecting with people our age and having conversations. What a nice respite to experience another family for a little bit. An intact one, and one without younger siblings, ha !

Life often becomes more about schoolwork, sports, friendships or dating (and not necessarily in that order).  It is as if we were letting the world open up more as we grew up. I wish this so much for you. There were some tensions on my paternal side of the family and it was important to not let that affect me all the time. I was gradually making my own decisions and I kept a relationship with relatives my father was not in contact with for a while. And this is a decision I never regretted. In fact, I would have regretted to not have let the benefit of the doubt to people who were so dear to me or not figured things out for myself. As we mature, we realize that one's own experience of a person might be different for someone else. 

For your 15th birthday, I wish you an increased sense of autonomy about your opinion, a wider circle of friends, wisdom, enthusiasm towards your future and confidence to make your decisions in a responsible way. And mistakes or having misjudged are part of the journey. It's ok to admit one has been wrong. It is actually mature and responsible.

You have an incredible potential. May you have supportive souls on your journey to help you express those beautiful gifts and talents that are budding as you develop your critical thinking.

I have faith in you. Know that you are seen.

With love,


Maman



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